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ZELDA MOVIE RANT + Free Membership?!?! D:

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 19, 2009, 8:07 PM
Zelda Movie


Ok... :iconraiden-chino: sent me this link last night www.dailymotion.com/video/xbg2…. It´s the Zelda Fanmade movie. As a big Zelda Fan, i have to see the movie, and i know by now (without seeing it) that i will NOT like it. So, as i´m going through it, i´ll post all the details that just blowed my mind... in a BAD way.

- Nerd fact: the godess didn´t create the Triforce to beat up the evil in earth... they left the Triforce way before anything but land was created.
- Ok, fanservice? why is Link shirtless in the first part? Did you really want to have all the fangirls vote? eeww...
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- Oh! is that triforce a birthmark? it looks like you´ve been playing with markers~
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- A grown up Kokiri? and she´s Links mother?
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- SARIA IS LINKS MOTHER!?!?!?1 THAT IS SO FUCKING WRONG!!! is like incest or something
- hmm... the Great Deku Tree looks like a fucking muppet.
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- "HE´S ONLY A CHILD!!" said Saria when the great Deku Tree told Link about his fate... a CHILD??? well, he looks like a 19-22 year old boy... that is so NOT a child...
- Link wears tight panties... and he´s showing his BULDGE... more fanservice??
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- Link is lost in the lost woods... how convenient.
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- hey! hyrule castle town looks great! lots of people, lots of ladies, all the ladies trying to hit on Link.. wait, wut?
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-ZOMBIE LINKS APPEARS!
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- nice detail!, Links buys a Bow, and the shop owner plays the "ta-dah-da-dah~" tune and says "YOU GOT THE BOW!"
- A girl at the Epona Inn just hit Link with a frying pan... oh! Ganondorf´s first appearance! nice eyebrows dude, you look like a fucking dragon ball character (from the movie, not from the manga).
- Okay! Ganondorf wears eyeshadow... and actually he´s kind of thin... and talks like a bad parody of Lord Vader ha-ha-ha
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- The girl who smacked Link was Malon, and it seem Talon (her father) finds Link to be "a very attractive boy~" gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
- WHAT? According the movie, Ganondorf planed to imprison Link in the Sacred Realm by stracting the Master Sword from the temple of time... wasn´t it planed by the Sages in the original story so Link could have the strenght to wield the Master Sword?
- Link is now in the Castle following Zelda´s Song, going through the guards, past by the tower with the clock... A CLOCK??? A MODERN CLOCK??? WTF!
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- Lady Impa is blonde and HAAAWT! also, why everybody keeps calling link a BOY, A LAD, A BRAT ,ETC?? he looks really old to be called boy <_<
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- Zelda looks stoned.... and Hormonal... she´s like calmed and in the next second she´s crying... women... Also, Links hairdo changes everytime! the magic of movies~~
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- Another bad guy appears! he´s all dark and evil and emo
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- This looks like a Porn movie... Impa moves like if she was horny about Link.
- Zelda and Link were about to kiss... maybe he isn´t THAT gay...
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- "when the bearer is Killed, the triforce is passed to the killer" that wasn´t like that in the Original Story... Also, the King didn´t have the Triforce of Power...
- Link trying to play the Ocarina.. FAAAIL!!! why did he played the happy birthday song??
- Is that the master sword??? looks more like the 4sword to me... Also, is Link like having an orgasm when reaching the sword??? you need to see his face <_<
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- the elements sages! FUCK YEAARS, let´s see Saria again and the other ones that... LINK NEVER MEET... i mean, the "child" part was really NOTHING... and Link looks exactly the same, he didn´t grown up.. HE´S THE SAME OLD LOOKING GUY THAT HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A "CHILD"... but none call him "boy" now... anyway
- Again.. Link´s crotch... eew
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- Woah.. Link´s face stained with blood after he killed some Ganondorfs men... odd Now he has the WORST LOOKING shield EVER, ta-dah-dah-daaaaah~ you got UGLY SHIELD!
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- Zelda dressed in black clothes in Kakariko Village... she seems to be Shiek... but she looks like a girl... also, you can TELL she´s Zelda beneath that transparent mask. FAIL... Aaawww she started crying... women...
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- Climbing death mountain.. more Lame Mountain if you ask me... they just flipped the camera to make it look like a mountain terrain...
- The Gorons are humaaaaaaans!!! Darunia is only a fat chinese guy! hahahahaha, laaaaameee XD and he says "IMA GORON!" xD
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- Ok... this is getting more gay... Darunia grabbed Links head and he... EEWW.. you HAVE to see it for youself
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- Ok! battle with volvagia! im looking foward to this!... WHAT?! is a Dodongo... but it spits FIRE??? AND IT FUCKING FLY!!! it´s a dondagia!! or volgongo?
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- ok! just 28 minutes left and 6 temples to visit :D how will Link make it? dun dun duuuuun!
- a great Fairy! she looks like a street whore... and she´s horny for Link too xD
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- oh no... she wasn´t a Great Fairy... she´s a Sage... i think she´s Din... and she´ll grant Link Din´s Fire... yeah she did...
- To restore Hyrule, Links needs to recover the Master Sword Bling Bling!
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- Ok! they are going to wake up all the sages in a really fast fashion!... first stop, Lake Hylia!
- Big Octopus Appears! Link used Sword!! it´s super effective!
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- Bongo Bongo! a giant skull surrounded in flames... who is defeated by putting it into a bottle...
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- a Pig man!
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- Back at the Deku tree, he gives links something... green
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- ooh, so romantic...
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- Back at the castle town this movie gets racist... a guard and a priest beating up a nig... i mean, black person.
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- OMG! Ganon looks SO GAY and FAT, maybe the triforce of power makes you gay or something...
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- Battle Montage... Sheik is a Ninja!
- Ganon is Transforming into a giant black cloud!!
- Ganon is a Vampire!!! that´s why he was SO white now... in a second thought, maybe he´s Batman!
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- the final battle begins! ROAAAR sword against sword
-  OMG, LINK IS BLEEDING KETCHUP ;___;
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- Ok Link won, he saved the day, almost died because of a big group of gerudos that were not happy with ganondorf death, Sheik shows her true identity, and Link, almost dying in the temple of time, went back to the past just before he took the Master Sword..

THE END

Overall: A REALLY BAD MOVIE WITH BAD ACTORS, REALLY BAD EFFECTS AND A TOTALLY RAPE OF THE STORY... like any other videogame movie.

hope you enjoyed my bitching.




Nice oportunity


How are you all? im at my mom´s home, yeeey (NOT) trying to advance with all the drawings i have to do and stuff teeheehee
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Add a Comment:
 
:iconburning-waters:
burning-waters Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2009
i loved your bitching.
definitely not seeing it. i'd be scarred for LIFE.
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
don´t see it!
Reply
:iconveji-chan:
Veji-chan Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2009  Student Writer
Well, I didn't even know about until I read this, and now I feel that I have to go watch it just to see for myself the epic suckishness it was doomed to emanate from the start.
Thanks for the amusing rant.
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
see it and then comment here
Reply
:iconveji-chan:
Veji-chan Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2009  Student Writer
will do
Reply
:icondalf-rules:
dalf-rules Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
what the hell am i reading.jpg

Yo quiero ver una película de Zelda animada, hecha con cariño, con un buen estudio detrás, etc.
No pido nada ;A;


Contraataquemos con una historia feliz!:

[link]
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
me dio paja leer XD
Reply
:icondalf-rules:
dalf-rules Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Pfft, cuando puedas hazlo, es soprendente 8D

Aparte me lo debes, ahora voy a tener pesadillas con el Emo Ganon y la Zelda Heroinómana D:
Reply
:iconzooper-dooper-huggle:
I whatched the movie. I think it rpaed my SOUL.
Oh eff.
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
ahaah xD yeah, it rapes
Reply
:iconlilmissspookiness:
LilMissSpookiness Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Student
ah brilliant, now i never have to watch this travesty of a movie
honestly, why make a rubbish movie of a game when you can just go play it? its not like loz is lacking in story or anything
great rant, very enjoyable
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
hahahha, amazing Xd
Reply
:iconangeldhan:
Angeldhan Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Student General Artist
Horror

Es que no tengo otra palabra saeh...

Eso sí creo que si tengo una oportunidad le echaré un vistazo
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
vela, te decepcionara :D
Reply
:iconangeldhan:
Angeldhan Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2009  Student General Artist
Por cierto, viste el trailer broma que se hicieron los de IGN?

[link]

Es normal que te salga una propaganda de un par de segundos primero, si no lo has visto ahí me dices que te parece :3
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
esa es muy buena Xd
Reply
:iconangeldhan:
Angeldhan Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2009  Student General Artist
"Hero of Time... Face Me"

Me encanta ese trailer, aunque Link sea tan feo

Un detallito, te has fijado supongo en que Link no dice ni una palabra
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
si, me gustaria ver una pelicula asi, en que link no hablara
Reply
:iconangeldhan:
Angeldhan Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2009  Student General Artist
Sep, porque se supone que es lo más correcto yyyy porque seguro que la voz que le pondrían no le gustaría a nadie :3
Reply
:iconmewtootim:
mewtootim Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
It was quite amusing. I guess I should probably watch it, only because I'm a huge zelda fan...but link doesn't even look that cute at all *MOST EPIC FAILURE!!!* oh well >_>
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
hahaha, watch it!
Reply
:iconkimera-kuiroaki:
Kimera-Kuiroaki Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OK, no la veré, pero me rei mxo con las imagenes y los comentarios XDDDDD
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
no la veas, es una hora y 40 minutos de tu vida perdidos...
Reply
:iconkimera-kuiroaki:
Kimera-Kuiroaki Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ouch o_O
Reply
:iconcanfex:
Canfex Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
jajajja la wea chanta :lmao:
o sea igual se nota que le pusieron empeño, pero...GANON VAMPIRO!? lo unico que falta es que tenga brillitos ql gays y ahi si que cago la pelicula :lmao:
y esa wea no puede ser Sheik :lol: se parece mas a la Zelda de Twilight Princess...
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
no xD es Sheik...
Reply
:iconcanfex:
Canfex Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
puta la wea amorfa weon, lo cagaron heavy :lmao:
Reply
:iconkaidragonslayer:
kaidragonslayer Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Student Filmographer
I liked it. I guess me and any film crew I know couldn't have done a better job. though Saria being his mom really disturbed me...and the giant octopus. When he played happy birthday on the ocarina that was the only time I laughed. In the context of the story that was funny because he just randomly got the ocarina and I'm sure he thought "okayyyy...what am I supposed to do with this?"
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
you did? eeew... i hated it.
Reply
:iconarkraven:
ArKRaveN Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
hahahaha, priceless xD
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:3
Reply
:iconaranglinn:
Aranglinn Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
igual triste

lo que mas me cagó en todo caso fue el "pelo" de link xD
la vi un rato y luego me aburrí xD era demasiado desesperante esa cuestion xD

mal, mal....
la vida es tan dura xD
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
jajja, teñido y gay? xD
Reply
:iconaranglinn:
Aranglinn Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
wn, es demasiado "amarillo puta", las cagó que les costaba hacer un rubio de verdad?

igual se cacha como peluca... pero wn, encontrar un rubiop que se paresca a link en gringolandia igual es facil, porque se nota que no les importaba el talento de actuacion...
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
amarillo puta xD
Reply
:iconjaviaz:
javiaz Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
Soy fan de zelda me gusta el videojuego de Phantom Hourglass y Spirit Tracks. :D
Falso es la pelicula de zelda, verdad?

:?
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
no
Reply
:iconjaviaz:
javiaz Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
:iconfffuuuplz: FFFFUUUU----
Reply
:iconshadows297:
Shadows297 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
you made me laugh, thanks xD
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
it´s the idea
Reply
:iconangel-17-serenity:
Angel-17-Serenity Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009
Wow... I saw a trailer for a fan made Zelda movie that looked AMAZING but I don't think it was ever fully made... >.< It looked like it messed with the story a little bit though... Oh wellz...
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
oh well~
Reply
:iconroguearcher18:
RogueArcher18 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
two things
one - you wanna see bad acting [link]
and two - this is your fault [link] lol just kidding
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
hahah xD no more fanfics! NOOO
Reply
:iconroguearcher18:
RogueArcher18 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
lol
did you read it?
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
just a bit, im kinda busy : (
Reply
:iconroguearcher18:
RogueArcher18 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
sokay when you have time
i updated it so its better ^_^
Reply
:iconraiden-chino:
Raiden-chino Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2009
sangra ketchup XDDDD

tiene un volantin en la espalda?
Reply
:iconfelolira:
Felolira Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
no, es el UGLY SHIELD! ta-dah-dah-daaaaaah
Reply
:icondragontrap:
dragontrap Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2009  Professional General Artist
I wish the April Fools video would have been made into a full movie, not this waste of time (accurate review btw XD )
Reply
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